I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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