A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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