I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I will be naked everywhere
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
