You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
