and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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