shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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