dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
