yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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