gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
