On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
