I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
