If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
