The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
