I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
