Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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