wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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