she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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