No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
