your thong is hanging out like whoa
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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