I think im going to throw up on grandma
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
