pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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