i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
