well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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