woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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