im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Randomize
