Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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