I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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