I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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