Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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