Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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