Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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