I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
