Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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