Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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