3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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