you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
