come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
