Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
