Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize