Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
