we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
