Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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