that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
