She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well I just put wine in my tea
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
