i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
