Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
