Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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