she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I look better un-naked...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
