Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
