Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pants are for mortals
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
