real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
