all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize