It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
