Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Your mouth is God's brothel.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
