woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
